The post so many of you have been waiting for is finally here!
Well, I don’t know if any of you have actually been waiting for this, but I know I have several friends who have been very excited for me to finally put down in public all of the ridiculous things they have said over the year.
Quotes are awesome, especially if you don’t know them in context. That makes them all the more funny. I started taking down quotes in about 2008, after I moved away from West Palm Beach. Prior to that year, my dearest and funniest friend Genie was the one that recorded everything our friends said. It was something that I learned from her, and have been doing it ever since. It may sound stupid, but in a world full of heavy burdens, having a list of funny things people say really does the heart some good.
So here we go! The quotes I’ve recorded from 2012! Unfortunately there were many more funny things said, but I did not write them all down. (First rule of being a quote recorder- never convince yourself that you will remember what they said later. You won’t). So if you have anything to add, please do in the comments!
“It’s funny when your mouth is tiny. It reminds me of claymation.” – Me
“You have like the mullet of outfits.” – Melissa Gollery
“What are you, some kinda breakfast… carnivore?” – Daniel
“Words are important.” – Adam Crocker
“You get the gays, you get everybody.” – Jessica Carolina Ferreira
‘The blood makes it real.” – Michelle Cordero
“Titan is licking my foot in the most gentle way.” – Jonny Peace
Me: That’d be like eating 40 apples a day. Daniel: 40 apples a day keeps 40 doctors away.
“I gotta get this flash mob out.” – Anitra Carbo
“He’s like an escape artist supreme!” – Jonny Peace
“My dad’s vasectomy story is hilarious.” – Anitra Carbo
“Didn’t they put you in stirrups?” – Stacy Kilgore
“Home school people confuse me with their grades.” – Jenny Troisi
“The whole camp knows about my vagisil now.” – Anitra Carbo
“Dude, you have jeans on your arms. Are you ok?” – Geoff
“I’d rather smell the funk, than this and that.” – Benjah
“I can pick up all Kilgores.” – Jenny Troisi
“Can we shut the door so I can take my pants off?” – Liz Wilkinson
“Shallow hoes.” – Katie Rolfe- Hancock
“Watch it with the cookies.” – Lyndale
“They’re small so it didn’t hurt that bad.” – Liz Wilkinson
“I’m pretty sure it’s better to suffocate from Axe body spray than Brian’s farts.” – James Rook
“Man, they can’t even get their comeuppance right. That movie was really bad.” – Daniel (talking about She’s All That)
“My breath smells like cookies and Mexicans.” -Shawn Davis
“When I say it, I feel like we are going to turn into crazy shopping center church.” – Eb Steward
“Is this when Dallas was still wearing Chalices?” – Daniel
Shawn: Do you have temple run? Daniel: Temple Rub?
“I have a tall blonde every now and then.” – Jonny Peace
“There’s a g-string in there?” – Leanne Peace
“I love that I have a second personality that’s called Drunk Katie.” – Katie Herndon
“It is a breakfast Mecca… Just F.Y.I.” – Jonny Peace
“Babe, there is literally no one nicer than Mike Twomey.” – Me
“It was a time when there was just enough technology to where not everyone in the world was consumed with it, but enough to where we weren’t bored out of our minds.” – Daniel on the 90’s
“Umm, you need to find a Dalorian, go back in time and never say those things again.” -Austin Davis
“…Sooo many gradients!” – Daniel, Austin and Tyler
“I can’t play the imperial death march on the piano.” – Jacob
“You may be 20 miles away on a tree limb somewhere but at least you’re dry!” – Stookie
“What happened to beeps and boops?” – Max
“It had been kicked around between bell changes.” – Katie Herndon
“It’s ok… I’m not bleeding.” – Nina Heringer
“Ohhh Thomas Madison.” – Katie Herndon
“You guys don’t watch any good seal movies!” – Allison Steward
“Turn up the Womak!” – Daniel
“I cry at movies, but not at real life things. I don’t cry at school… accept for that one year.” – Katie Herndon
“Ozzy, put your tooth in your mouth.” – Daniel
“If you can fix teeth, you can fix verbs.” – Krista Gibbs
“I know that body anywhere.” – Genie Mokher Uribe
“I just cannot get a tweet out… it’s so frustrating.” – Me
“Doesn’t he put his finger so close to your face? I’ts really disturbing.” – Amber Tompkins
“Is that dried pineapple?!? Excuse me.” – Nick Roberts
Nick: You know where women hold their stress? Me: Their shoulders! Nick: You know where men hold their stress? Daniel: … their weiners?
“I have a knitting loom I’m working on.” – Logan Mears
“The less Thousand Foot Krutch is mentioned in staff meeting, the better.” – Eb Steward
“Palonius!! I know my sh**!! – Katie Herndon
“They don’t even know who Destiny’s Child is.” – Leanne Peace
“I can never be Ryan Gosling.” – Daniel
“You can’t shoot them.” – Leanne Peace on demons
“I’m like mama cat.”- Daniel
Jonny: It’s like a lava prophylactic. Everyone: What?? Jonny: It’s a thin layer of material keeping me safe.