Bye Bye Comfort and Control

I bet you just read that title and thought all kinds of sucky things.

Well, yes. What I am about to share is sucky for me. Sucky for fleshy Megan.

A couple of conversations at camp last week mixed with a couple of conversations this week brought about an eye- opening conviction today.

Coffee is my functional savior.

I’m sure some of you just dropped your head with a sad, slow shake, because you know what’s coming next.

It all started last week, when Jesse Carbo told me he  had given up coca cola. I’ve known Jesse for 6 years now, and if there is any one thing that gets him bad, it’s that sweet, eye-watering, carbonated beverage. It’s a mountain that he has tried to conquer for years, sometimes coming out victorious and other times failing. It’s very encouraging how transparent he has been about the whole thing.

Little conversations about coffee kept popping up last week. It was mostly in fun, but the truth is, I wasn’t able to make it through a day without it. I even had to leave campus several times to make a Starbucks run. And that was ON TOP OF the Cuban coffee Jesus made every day (pronounced Hey-Zeuss… Christ was not makin us coffee) .

Today I was hanging out with my two lady friends, Melissa and Laura, while our kids destroyed a play room. We were talking about weight struggles, foods and drinks we can’t live without and the things that keep us from being healthy. The truth hit as I was saying it out loud how much I NEED coffee. Isn’t it funny how God speaks to us often through our own mouths?

I don’t have any control over my days. With a child, I’m not sure if the day is going to go exactly as planned or if it is going to be an epic disaster. The one thing I can control and find comfort in, no matter how my day turns out, is my praised cup of coffee. Whether I make it myself, or I purchase my very specific beverage at Starbucks, it is mine. The smell and the taste makes life a billion times better.

And that is not o.k.

“You shall have no other God’s before me.” – Exodus 20:3

First commandment. Plain and simple.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

God is who I should be going to when things feel out of control, but even more than that, when things are perfectly fine. That time that I take each morning to worship the art of making/drinking coffee and is time I could be chasing God through scripture and just being at peace in His presence.

So, no more coffee for me! I’m sure some may think that that’s a bit extreme.

I mean, it is extreme. It’s extreme to let a beverage rule your life, and determine whether or not you are going to be happy or sad.

So extreme cases call for extreme measures.

I’m not under any kind of “spiritually high” illusion that with Jesus, this won’t be difficult. I’ve tried giving up coffee in the past, and obviously to no avail. It effing sucks. It’s not easy at all, and the first few days are excruciating, riddled with migraines and rage.

I also decline to be under the false pretense that I won’t fail. There is a likelihood that I will. No no, I’m not jinxing it before it even starts. On the contrary, I’m starting off realistically. I know myself too well, and if I tell myself that “this will be the time!” then I set myself up for a guilt-filled failure. I can’t do this without God, and it is for God that I am taking this on in the first place. Grace and relief is what I will rest in this time.

I’ll need lots of encouragement for the next couple of days. Don’t be shy, and feel free to share your stories of idols and how you abandoned them.

Or, if you are struggle in such a way as I am, let me know. We’ll do this together.