I know that my blog posts are so spaced out, and I really apologize. We have been without a computer for several weeks now. We’ve had three computers die on us over the course of the summer, and it’s just been the dumbest thing. So I am reduced to blogging in my spare time at work.
Anyways, one day I will get to the real meat of the Break All My Bones series on here, but here is some more of that.
Fear is something that has always ruled my life, and just recently has God really been pulling that out of me by it’s bloody root. To help my mind accept that living in fear is not living at all, I ordered some vinyl lettering from my job and put it up on the bedroom wall right next to my bed. This stuff is big, bold, and and blunt. It’s the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see when I go to bed.
IT IS THE TRUTH. It is reality. And it is helping me immensely.
What keeps you from living life with joy, peace, passion and rest?
Coming up with topics to write about can be difficult, especially if you are your own boss. You want to feel good about what you are writing, and you want others to be inspired by it as well. Sometimes I feel like when I talk to people about my blog, they have the idea that what I am doing is silly and unimportant. I get the “that doesn’t really take much work” type of vibe.
It couldn’t be any further from the truth. Sure I’m not sitting down and sculpting a perfect piece in iambic pentameter. But what I write matters, because I love to do it. And the same goes for you too, in whatever field your passions draw you to.
I read this great blog post today by Creative Arts Pastor Stephen Brewster on the 16 habits of Creativity, and it inspired me to do a little exercise. I got out my good ‘ol pen and notepad, and started a 5 minute countdown on my iphone stop watch. I then wrote down as many ideas as I could think of, and had to stop when the five minutes were up.
Sounds simple, but the race to beat the clock actually purged from my mind some great idea. And it felt good to get them all down, even if some of them weren’t really all that special. The point of the exercise was to get the brain going and the creative juices flowing. Sometimes that is all it takes to create one smashing result that effects a great number of people.
Whether you write, create D.I.Y. tutorials, watch kids all day or take fantastic photos, this is a great exercise. It will get your day going and give you the motivation you need to be your creative and original self!
So as I’ve shared recently, running (or trying to run) has been a mountain I’ve been trying to conquer. When viewed with the right lenses and for the right reasons, health is really important to me. Unfortunately, we all know how difficult it is to keep our sights set on why we need to be healthy in the first place.
For me, I am not able to successfully be healthy if my goal is to make myself happy or to please Daniel. I have always and will forever fail if those two reasons are why I do anything. It just proves so hard how human I am. When I am able to believe that striving for healthy living is for God and his glory, then the success comes. Again, it’s difficult.
Some days I’ve truly got it. And some days I don’t feel God and I’d rather sit on the couch and eat an entire bag of Pirates Booty.
An album, and more specifically a certain song reminds me of why I do anything in the first place, and helps me see myself differently.
Life In Your Way’sKingdoms, which is an album comprised of three EP’s (The Kingdom of Man, The Kingdom of Darkness and The Kingdom of God) , is something you NEED to listen to, especially if you are into melodic hardcore. But even if you’re not, give it a listen.
My favorite EP of the three part album is The Kingdom of God. On there is a song called “Who I Am”… and good grief.
It’s funny, because every time I’m running and contemplating giving up, this song starts playing through my Nike running app. It’s starts off with an intense, “THIS IS WHO I AM…” You know in Super Mario Kart, those question marks you run into that sometimes give you a super boost and you blast by all of the other guys? That’s what happens to me when this song comes on. It somehow gives me the power to believe who I really am, versus who I’ve made myself out to be in my own mind.
He doesn’t see what I see, He doesn’t see what you see. He sees my destiny and calls me to be a son.
I seriously get teary eyed every time I reach this part of the song. You know why this is motivating? Because it’s true. And even though I don’t quite understand fully what God sees in me, I know He sees it. I’m so grateful because if my worth was solely left up to me, well then I would just be a sad girl all the time.
This is going to sound stupid and girly, but it also helps me get past what I see in the mirror. Like it or not, we all have issues with what stares back at us. You could have a slammin’ hot bod, and still find something that unsettles you. No matter how much physical beauty we think we’ve accomplished, it is just never enough. Most of the time, I feel like the grossest person ever. I could name off at least 20 things I’d have different on my body. Now, hear me. This is not a call for shallow compliments, because that will never be what satisfies my soul. And please don’t tell me how I just have to “love myself.” I refuse to trade in the sin of self-loathing for the sin of pride. It’s a battle most of us (both men and women) will fight every day, and we could blame it on all kinds of things. Media, childhood, food, friends, etc.
But the reality is, He sees none of that crap. He sees what He has made, what He is cultivating, and ultimately what He will finish. That pushes me. That gives me that last shred of energy to go one more mile. That allows me not to look in the mirror and smile, but to walk passed it completely and not even worry about it. It helps me choose to love others, even when they severely piss me off. It gives me the strength I desperately need to be a better wife, mom and person.
This is who I am, by the power of the risen death and what You’ve done. This is who I am, all I’ve been and who I’ve become.